So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
