do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
