maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize