Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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