his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
