the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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