I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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