Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
