You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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