dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
