dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
zippers are such a cool invention
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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