What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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