theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
