: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
