I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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