remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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