I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
