I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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