Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize