I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
