everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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