Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
