Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
