You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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