Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
