officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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