She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
