DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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