i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
