Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize