I wish i was in the wii world.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
