Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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