i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
