Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
