i just google imaged poop.
I wish you could order shots online.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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