That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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