is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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