i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
