my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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