Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
