hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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