I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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