I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
