But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
