I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
