We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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