Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
