was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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