Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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