I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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