420 ftw
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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