Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
