I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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