Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
