my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's just like the Real World with babies
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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