I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
