and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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