I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
sarcasm needs its own font
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
