I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Of course I have a pirate flag
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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