...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
