I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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